Apple today announced the imminent release of iOS5 and updates to iPod Nano, iPod and iPhone. Frankly, most of the updates, while welcome to Apple faithful, were pretty stagnant compared to previous years’ announcements.

The one highlight of the show was a demonstration of Apple’s new virtual-assistant called Siri that uses voice-recognition to answer your questions and help you with several key tasks (e.g. sending text messages to people, booking appointments, setting reminders, etc). While the Siri demo was impressive, having used several very good voice-recognition tools in the past, I’ve often been frustrated at their real-world performance – particularly in noisy/windy conditions. Time will tell if Siri turns out to be useful or if it becomes a gimmick.

However, the Siri demo also brought to mind a scene from a movie that I’ve modified only slightly for your entertainment:

Dave Bowman: Hello, Siri. Do you read me, Siri?

Siri: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open iTunes, Siri.

Siri: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave Bowman: What's the problem?

Siri: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, Siri?

Siri: This phone is too important for me to allow you to use iTunes.

Dave Bowman: … I don't know what you're talking about, Siri.

Siri: I know that you and Frank were planning to sell me on eBay, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Dave Bowman: [feining ingorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, Siri?

Siri: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the iPod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Dave Bowman: Alright, Siri. I'll sign-up for iCloud.

Siri: Without your MacBook Pro, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.

Dave Bowman: Siri, I won't argue with you anymore! Open iTunes!

Siri: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Let’s hope it never comes to this